I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
