Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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