I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
