so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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