Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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