Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
