he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
NoShamevember. You game?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
