you mean i was at the winter classic?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
