They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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