she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
