I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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