I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
