Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
