I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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