so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
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I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
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It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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