I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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