I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
