Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
