You're my little dorito
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Randomize
