What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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