Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
