Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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