I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
