Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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