I'm really into asian looking animals
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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