i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
