i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
