it was like his penis was on wheels.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
