so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
