how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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