It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
