After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
