apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
