I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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