Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
