i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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