He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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