I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
