Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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