Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
sarcasm needs its own font
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
