i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
