White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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