I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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