I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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