WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
