all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
