Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
