I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
