Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
