Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
