I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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