So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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