She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
