Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
