You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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