so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize