Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
