You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
