White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I think i got beer on your cat.
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