Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
