fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Come on in and take your pants off
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