wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
